what happens when a health & wellness reporter burns out
now entering a season of rest & recovery
#WednesdayWisdom
“I don’t know who needs to see this today but: the right people will find you. The best opportunities will find you. What you deserve is getting ready for you. Keep doing the healing work that you’re doing. The best is on its way to you.” ~ @thegmichelle
Morning Musings
It’s very timely that I’m writing to you this morning about rest and recovery when I’m feeling under the weather myself (thus the later-than-usual arrival time in your inbox). Let’s start with the big news first, shall we? Earlier this month I quit my job.
For those of you who are longtime subscribers and keeping track at home, you may notice this is the third time within as many years that I’ve quit a job. And if you ask any journalist, three makes a trend. So I couldn’t help but wonder (in my best Carrie Bradshaw voice), if it was me, am I the problem? Or is it them?
I’d venture to say it’s probably a mix of both, although to be clear when I say I’m the problem, I mean in the sense that any Black woman who dares to challenge the status quo and advocate for herself is always deemed a problem.
This time around when the HR rep asked me about my reason for leaving in the exit interview, I drew a blank. There were many reasons; however, they all boiled down to one reason: burnout. Which is ironic because one of the first stories I wrote in my role was about how to avoid burnout at a new job.
Guess I didn’t take my own advice, but then again, I didn’t know at the time how much raising a tiny human; writing and revising my first book and working a full-time job/chasing a promotion that would never come would take out of me. I’d recently seen a LinkedIn post with an infographic about the 12 stages of burnout and knew I was hovering a strong 11.5. It was time to get out.
Over the summer, my therapist noted that I’d started displaying depressive symptoms, such as listlessness, fatigue, irritability, and anhedonia, the inability to experience joy or pleasure. That was the wake-up call I so desperately needed. No job—no matter how much it pays—is worth your mental and physical health. So I started putting my exit plan in place.
After working with a media-specific career coach to get my resume in a good place, I landed a few interviews, but never got an offer. All the while, I could hear God telling me it was time to fully and finally step into my power and purpose as an author, writer and speaker.
The confirmation came when I received a rejection from Lean In for a role I thought was perfect for me. I’d been telling Jeff that if I didn’t get this one, then it was back to the freelance streets for me. Literally two minutes after that rejection email I got a text from my friend Melissa. It was a link to a tweet from Nika Solé that said:
“Some of your biggest blessings will come as a result of what you say no to. The right things can only get to you when you stop entertaining the wrong things.”
Well, alrighty then.
After that, I started working with my freelance coach,
, in preparation for this new chapter of freelancing. I’ve done freelance writing in some way, shape or form for 15 years, but I knew I needed to level up.However, Jenni advised me to rest and recover before diving head first into rebuilding and relaunching. In fact, my “homework” from now until the end of the year is to get back in the habit of my morning rituals and to schedule regular coffee dates with friends—two things that bring me great joy, but slipped by the wayside when I was working 9-5.
Nearly one month in and I can literally feel my nervous system recalibrating. I get to take my time working out, showering and making breakfast because I don’t need to sign on to my laptop at 9 o’clock. I can take extended coffee breaks with friends because I don’t feel the anxiety of having to be active on Slack.
At the same time, bills need to get paid. But I find myself being more intentional about the work I’m taking on and not being afraid to move on with something is not in alignment—trusting that bigger and better is just around the corner.
This is a season of prioritizing me and my needs unapologetically. It’s giving big I’m Choosing Me energy and I hope you’ll stay along for the ride.
Stop Waiting for Perfect is Out Now!
Upcoming Events
I’m returning to Evanston Public Library this Saturday, Sept. 30 for the Midwest Impact Day of Service. I’ll be reading excerpts from the book and signing copies afterward. Hope to see you there!
ICYMI
For Fortune, I wrote a roundup of 13 innovators in health and wellness. I was also a guest on A Fresh Story podcast and Chicago Tonight: Black Voices.
And last, but not least, for this week I was interviewed about my thoughts on gifts vs. no gifts at children’s birthday parties. Last year, we attempted to redirect family and friends to donate to Violet’s college fund instead. But this year we decided heck with it. People are going to give gifts anyway. Where do you stand on the matter?
Links I Love
12 Scented Candles Stressed Out People Really Love (Wondermind): As someone who loves candles and is almost always stressed, this article really spoke to me.
Scottie Beam & Sylvia Obell Got A Second Chance. They’re Making It Count. (Refinery29) Every now and then an article comes along that makes me wish I’d written it. This is one of those stories. Shoutout to my fellow writer mom friend
for doing her thing here!Angelica Ross’ Experience Proves Black Women Don’t Have Allies in the Workplace (The Grio): Listen, being a Black woman is hard. Being a Black woman in corporate America, Hollywood—just about every industry really—is so, so taxing.
explains why.
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Thank You
A special thank-you to April, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani and Amanda for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support!
Congrats on the move - @reframeables is here for all your new adventures!
“I can literally feel my nervous system recalibrating.” Thank you for reminding me that it takes time for our.nervous systems to settle!