#WednesdayWisdom
“There’s peace in knowing every moment won’t last forever. The good and the bad.” ~ Naomi Osaka
Morning Musings
Well, friends…the moment of truth has come. I was mentally (and emotionally) prepared for the unveiling of Chicago Reader’s Best of Chicago Awards last Thursday when the print issue came out. What I was not prepared for was the online version going live Wednesday afternoon—inconveniently after my therapy appointment and right before a meeting with one of my editors.
A friend had tagged me in the above screenshot on Instagram and, admittedly, I was disappointed to learn I was second runner-up for best nonfiction writer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for my friend and fellow 2023 debut author (plus my Enneagram 3 twin) Taylor who came in first. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to win. Two things can be true at once.
Then there’s the irony of this all happening on the day I wrote about rejection for last week’s newsletter. Well, good thing I’m practicing what I preach all 2024, including sitting with my feelings before reacting.
What I neglected to share in last week’s post, but covered in the chapter about rejection in Stop Waiting for Perfect is you’re absolutely allowed to throw yourself a pity party when you receive Bad News. To cruise past your feelings of hurt, disappointment, jealousy, etc. would be to do yourself and your emotions a disservice.
We are emotional beings. Feelings are meant to be felt. So allow yourself the space and time to feel them.
And if you have some trouble figuring out exactly how you feel, I highly recommend the Feelings Wheel. There is true power that comes from being able to name our emotions—the good, the bad and the ugly.
I was confused later in the day when I mentioned getting runner-up on Twitter and people congratulated me. My perfectionist tendencies immediately went to I wasn’t first, I was last...I lost. I mean, Nelly literally raps in “#1”: “What does it take to be number one?/Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers.” 😭😭😭
My friend Pam, a fellow writer, provided some helpful perspective that to even place in the country’s third largest city is a big deal. And, while I may not necessarily feel celebratory right now, this is an accomplishment worth celebrating…I’ll get there eventually (maybe).
Until then, I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for nominating me, for voting for me, for buying the book, for requesting and borrowing it from your local library, for sharing it on social media and with your friends, family members and neighbors, for gifting it and recommending it to other people, for believing in me, for supporting me, and for encouraging me throughout all of this. Your kind words and notes about what the book has meant to you (and my writing in general) are what keep me going on the good days, the bad days and in between. 💜
ICYMI
A peek at what I’ve been up to lately, including a couple of parenting podcasts, an article for Peloton and my latest advice column for Yahoo:
Free Black Motherhood podcast
Give It Some Time podcast
Why Do We Instinctively Stretch When We Wake Up? (Peloton)
Black Girl Affirmations: A Lesson in Self-Love
This month’s column for paid subscribers featured my conflicting emotions about complimenting young girls on their looks and also the need to bolster self-confidence for Black girls in particular. Give it a read and let me know your thoughts!
Links I Love
A Beautiful Mind (Harper’s Bazaar)
The Emergency Physician Tackling Racism in Health Care (The Cut)
Book Club (and Book Me!)
Thanks so much to everyone who came out to book club at The Groove Chicago on Sunday! It’s still so surreal seeing real people holding a book that I wrote and hearing how it’s impacted them. Eek! If you’d like me to come speak at your book club or company/organization, get in touch at the link below.
Burnout Recovery Program for Black Women
The Strength in Softness by therapist Michelle Goodloe offers mindful guidance and self-care strategies to the strong Black professional woman who is trying her best to manage the daily demands of her important work. Our intimate group will meet weekly for 8 weeks, beginning 3/4/2024 at 6PM EST.
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Thank You
A special thank-you to April, Jeff, Carol, Cait, Amanda, Harleen, Megan, Najja, Jessica, Priti, Cat, Jenna, Mallory, Rachel, Angel, Sarah, Camesha, Vix, Anna, Stephanie, Dominique, Tiffany, Emily, Mabinty, Lindsey, Casey, Lynnae, Dani, Amanda, Raina, Abigail, Sharon, Kristen, Heather, Renae, Jennie, Brittaney, Kyndall, Sarah and Cecilia for becoming paid subscribers and helping to fuel this newsletter. I truly appreciate your support! 💜