my three-step Wednesday Wellness routine
here's a hint: it involves community
Wednesday Wisdom
“Hey sis, you can be grateful and still admit that it’s heavy.” ~ Asa Dugger
Morning Musings
This week’s newsletter is coming to you a bit later than usual because I decided to scrap the original version at approximately 7:55 this morning. It felt a little too “woe is me” even for me and I do worry about y’all getting a little “fertility fatigue” with all of my (rightful) bitching and moaning about IVF and all of its pitfalls.
So, I changed course to something a bit more positive, a bit more lighthearted. But I’d be lying to you if I said IVF wasn’t always top of mind (as it should be). This is what’s consuming a lot of my time, energy and money (!!) these days, so it’s only natural that it comes across in my content as well.
I’d been playing around with the idea of writing about my “Wellness Wednesday” routine for about a month now. It typically looks something like this:
Visit a local coffee shop (usually Soul Good Coffee…their Soul Breezy matcha latte is my absolute favorite!) while I host the virtual cowriting session for The Writing Well, my community for writers.
Take a Sculpt & Tone yoga class with my favorite instructor (hi, Kim!). It’s the best of all worlds with a blend of strength training, dance cardio and, of course, yoga.
Therapy. Enough said.
You may also notice how all three of these activities require spending money…something I’m trying to be more conscious about after meeting with a financial counselor last week (hi, Jen!).
So I was bummed about cutting back on the first two (therapy is a non-negotiable and our co-pay is pretty low. Thank you, health insurance 🙏🏾). But then I had a 20-30 minute talk with Mr. Mark at the front desk after daycare drop-off that made feel a little less glum. You may recall Mr. Mark is the kind soul who talked me off the ledge the day after the election.
By us not having family nearby, we’ve grown to rely on people like Mr. Mark and some of Violet’s teachers as our elders, an extension of our village. And I can tell you it really makes a difference!
Then afterward I traveled home to set up for the cowriting Zoom. I was bummed about not going to Soul Good, but to paraphrase Black moms everywhere, “we have matcha at home!” Truthfully, it’s not the same though.
When I logged on, one of my regulars poured into me in a way I didn’t even know I needed. We commiserated about our shared endometriosis status, struggling to conceive and the cultural appropriation of yoga in the Western world (we covered a LOT in the first 10 minutes of today’s session!).
And that’s when it dawned on me: my wellness routine wasn’t (solely) based on the activities or the setting (coffee shop, yoga studio, etc.), it was about the PEOPLE! It’s about community.
Last year, I worked on a report for TheLi.st about loneliness. The idea was that just 10 minutes a day connecting with other people could help combat this country’s loneliness epidemic.
As a freelancer, I work from home 85% of the time, which means I spend a LOT of time alone. For an extrovert like me, that can be lonely af. Now, to be fair, I also enjoy my morning and midday coffee dates with friends, but most of the time it’s just me, myself and I.
Community is key. In our individualistic society, it’s not uncommon to isolate, but that doesn’t do anyone a lick of good, especially in this political climate. In fact, my #BlackGirlBizChat group chat was (half) joking about living in a commune together to raise our kids. My college roommates and I have been talking about this for years now.
And I can attest, living two floors above a family with a child around the same age as Violet has been lifesaving! Not only are our kids friends, but the mom and I are good friends as well. When Jeff cut his finger cooking dinner one time while I was teaching a webinar, they jumped in to watch V while Jeff went to the emergency room. No questions asked. The same is true of my local Black mom group chat. We show up for each other. They’re all part of our village.
The first 2.5 months of this administration have proven what Black people, Indigenous people and other people of color have always known to be true: community is the way, the truth and the light. Community will save us. Community is the answer.
So we need to put our pride and ego aside and ask for help when we need it. We need to give as much as we receive. We need to be good neighbors to one another. We need to collectively care for each other. Because as the saying goes, “we all we got!”
How are you leaning into community these days? What does your wellness routine look like? Hit “reply” or let me know in the comments. Sharing is caring! 💜
ICYMI
Stop Waiting for Perfect was named an editor’s pick in the February issue of BrownStyle magazine!
I was recently interview by HerAgenda about the impact female friendships have had on my life. Spoiler alert: It’s pretty big!
Upcoming Events
April 26: I’m excited to be partnering with Kendra Vargas of Authentically You Psychotherapy for the upcoming Harmony in Healing Fertility Wellness Retreat. I’ll be leading a gentle yoga flow that is safe for those undergoing fertility treatments and is designed to promote relaxation, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being. There will also be acupuncture, small group support and journaling. Hope to see you there!
What I’m Reading
Breonna Taylor’s mother remembers (The 19th)
A decade of entrepreneurship ruined my mental health. Now I work at a restaurant. (
)that time Zora listed 100 iconic albums by Black women (
)
My Latest Obsession
Yes, I’ve declared my unwavering love for Abbott Elementary and its showrunner, Quinta Brunson, here before. However, the Karaoke episode deserves its own shine here. It was *chef’s kiss* immaculate. Dare I say one of the best (and funniest!) episodes in the series thus far. Yes, it was really that good. The Karaoke episode, which aired last week and features the show’s teachers belting out their favorite songs, was simply one for the culture—for Black culture, for pop culture, all the cultures. 12/10 no notes. I just might watch it again! 🤔
Now Hiring
Vice President of Marketing & Communications for The Art Institute of Chicago
Communications Director for Chicago Teachers Union
Senior Staff Attorney for Pregnancy Justice
Creative Director, Organic Content for Him & Hers
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Managing Director for Village of Wisdom
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Director of Health & Human Performance for Chicago Sky
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Loved that essay about solo-employment and burning out. Good for the for hoping to a more comfortable lily pad. I'm approaching my 10-year mark and also feel like i just want a boring job
Great read and reminder to enjoy life!