Becoming a stepmom was a rude awakening into what modern parents deal with. From having to look up summer camp options in DECEMBER of the prior year, to paying hundreds of dollars for said camps, to seeing all of the extracurriculars these 1st and 2nd graders were doing and feeling like my kid is behind ... it's a huge reason I have not had my own bio kid. I don't think I can take on the mental and emotional load and it's not as easy as just "not" doing those things when you feel like opting out is penalizing your kid.
I also think it's such BS that it always comes back to the individual responsibility. We should not have to feel it's on us to do self-care to deal with systemic level issues.
I know you know this! Just here to say I (think I) understand and I felt this.
Yes, yes and more yes! The NYT podcast was very good about addressing this too, because even one of the journalists talked about how she has to actively talk herself *out* of the guilt/shame feeling like you're doing a disservice to your kids even when you KNOW you're doing the right thing by opting out. It is all so very, very hard!
This resonatessssss. My hubs and I are in the process of looking for childcare and wow, it should not be this complicated nor this expensive. We of course want caregivers to get paid. We just wish society supported care. Parenting is tough and we do not talk about how much it demands of us. Thank you for your openness.
Thank you for reading and yes, the childcare process is...whew, chile...the ghetto. And what's frustrating is a lot of times these caregivers aren't being paid fair wages either, so where is the money going?! We really need more support (financial and otherwise) from our government!
So glad you took the cues from the Universe and stopped to care for Self/self. As you know, my kid is 34 and I can't even imagine what parenting a toddler in today's environment is like. I'm betting it's damn hard. BTW, Chelsea is my fave meditation instructor on Peloton. Actually, the only one I meditate with. She's helped me through many days. Violet is a lucky girl. You got this!
Thank you so much, friend! And yes, Chelsea is the BEST. Times are certainly different compared to when your kid & I were growing up. It's hard out here! 😮💨
This is a classic!! Less than midway. through and I thought I was in the car with you. Well described! A line that really hit me... 'I hadn’t lifted weights in a LONG time, but the Universe was telling me this was the class to take. God was looking for ya girl because Robin, a mom of two, gave a special shoutout to the parents and caregivers in the Peloton community during class'.... reminded me of the two key words I learned after being gifted with Parkinson's twenty-five years ago and found myself in intensive PT twice a week with daily walks of two miles between PT days including weight training to manage the neurological critter. (You can!) and the two key words were.. Keep Moving. My kids are 39, 38 and 38 - with twins on the second go. Neither their mom or I remember their first three years, somebody was always awake. That's about when I started taking Zoloft. Thirty-five years later I still am. Must work. God bless you - you need it!
Omg, all of this resonates with me so deeply! The first few months of my daughter's life were such a blur, grateful for the photographs & also sending so much love to that version of myself (pre-Zoloft) who was doing her best to survive. Grateful for all the past versions of ourselves that lead us to where we are now!
Becoming a stepmom was a rude awakening into what modern parents deal with. From having to look up summer camp options in DECEMBER of the prior year, to paying hundreds of dollars for said camps, to seeing all of the extracurriculars these 1st and 2nd graders were doing and feeling like my kid is behind ... it's a huge reason I have not had my own bio kid. I don't think I can take on the mental and emotional load and it's not as easy as just "not" doing those things when you feel like opting out is penalizing your kid.
I also think it's such BS that it always comes back to the individual responsibility. We should not have to feel it's on us to do self-care to deal with systemic level issues.
I know you know this! Just here to say I (think I) understand and I felt this.
Yes, yes and more yes! The NYT podcast was very good about addressing this too, because even one of the journalists talked about how she has to actively talk herself *out* of the guilt/shame feeling like you're doing a disservice to your kids even when you KNOW you're doing the right thing by opting out. It is all so very, very hard!
Yes - I listened to it and enjoyed this one!
Oh, and with that, I also recommend the book "Real Self Care" by Pooja Lakshmin!
This resonatessssss. My hubs and I are in the process of looking for childcare and wow, it should not be this complicated nor this expensive. We of course want caregivers to get paid. We just wish society supported care. Parenting is tough and we do not talk about how much it demands of us. Thank you for your openness.
Thank you for reading and yes, the childcare process is...whew, chile...the ghetto. And what's frustrating is a lot of times these caregivers aren't being paid fair wages either, so where is the money going?! We really need more support (financial and otherwise) from our government!
So glad you took the cues from the Universe and stopped to care for Self/self. As you know, my kid is 34 and I can't even imagine what parenting a toddler in today's environment is like. I'm betting it's damn hard. BTW, Chelsea is my fave meditation instructor on Peloton. Actually, the only one I meditate with. She's helped me through many days. Violet is a lucky girl. You got this!
Thank you so much, friend! And yes, Chelsea is the BEST. Times are certainly different compared to when your kid & I were growing up. It's hard out here! 😮💨
This is a classic!! Less than midway. through and I thought I was in the car with you. Well described! A line that really hit me... 'I hadn’t lifted weights in a LONG time, but the Universe was telling me this was the class to take. God was looking for ya girl because Robin, a mom of two, gave a special shoutout to the parents and caregivers in the Peloton community during class'.... reminded me of the two key words I learned after being gifted with Parkinson's twenty-five years ago and found myself in intensive PT twice a week with daily walks of two miles between PT days including weight training to manage the neurological critter. (You can!) and the two key words were.. Keep Moving. My kids are 39, 38 and 38 - with twins on the second go. Neither their mom or I remember their first three years, somebody was always awake. That's about when I started taking Zoloft. Thirty-five years later I still am. Must work. God bless you - you need it!
That must be why they invented photography!
Omg, all of this resonates with me so deeply! The first few months of my daughter's life were such a blur, grateful for the photographs & also sending so much love to that version of myself (pre-Zoloft) who was doing her best to survive. Grateful for all the past versions of ourselves that lead us to where we are now!
Thank you so much for reading! 🫶🏾